fbpx

Why You Fall Short On What You Want

Have you ever set your mind to something, started out well and then the wheels fell off? Back to status quo you went.

Well, in this Episode we’re going to dive into why you fall short on what you want………..

LINKS AND RESOURCES

  • Are you ready to get out of overwhelm, self-doubt and procrastination? Access the free UNSTUCK training. Click here.
  • Stress keeping you falling short? Download TAMING STRESS. Click here.
  • Labels are Limiting. Click here.

ENJOY THIS EPISODE?

If you enjoyed this episode, I would be incredibly grateful if you would take the time to subscribe and a leave a quick rating and a review. You can do that on Apple Podcasts right now by clicking here. If you are an Android user, you can follow the podcast on Spotify here. Those actions will help the podcast reach more people and I thank you so much.

WHY WE FALL SHORT: THE KEY LEARNINGS

I know it’s possible to get what we want, but somewhere in the seeking of what we want, things get complicated. We’re complex beings and here are some of the most common things that normally go wrong!

WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE WANT

It’s exceptionally rare that I ask the question ‘What do you want {insert area of life} to look and feel like?’, and I get a clearly articulated and motivating response.

WE OVER IDENTIFY WITH ONE LIFE AREA

When we just focus on getting the one thing we haven’t got, we live in a lack, limits
and fear. When we’re in lack, it doesn’t take much to talk ourselves out of the hard things that need to be done to change what is, and when we’re in fear, the Amygdala (the alarm centre in the brain) will usually help us fall short.

WE KEEP CHANGING OUR MINDS

When we keep changing our minds on what we want based on what other people are doing and our emotional state, this confuses the action centre of the brain and we fall short.

WHAT WE THINK WE WANT ACTUALLY ISN’T IMPORTANT TO US

Most people are living life based on what they saw and heard to be valueable as a
child without ever questioning whether it is still valuable to them as an adult.

Our society also tells us that success goals (career, achievement, materialistic assets) are more important than eulogy traits (contribution, kindness, compassion, connection etc), and this human and brain conflict causes disruption to the messaging to the action centre of the brain, and again we fall short.

OUR SELF CONCEPT AND BELIEFS ARE OUTDATED

Most of us were put in a box at a really young age.

We’re labelled: she’s shy, she’s athletic, she’s intelligent or she’s not. he’s unorganised, he’s always late, he’s forgetful.
Then we continue to label ourselves for a lifetime: I’m not creative, I’m not really a gym
person, I’m not a morning person.


These labels shape our self concept (who believe ourselves to be and what we’re capable of) and we continue to keep outdated patterned behaviours in place and we fall short.
So, if you’re not clear on your personality, your emotional needs, your stress triggers, your
fears, your beliefs, your stories, your patterns of discomfort avoidance, your emotional
patterns, your limiting behaviours, your supportive behaviours, and those
ambitions……you’re are a ‘boxed and labelled’ 8 year child in an adult body, and this leads
me to the next reason we fall short on what we want.

WE ACT MOSTLY IN AN AUTOMATIC STATE


What the Adult Child continues to believe about themselves and what they’re
capable of, keeps them getting the same of what they already have, and this is why. There is a part of the brain that is ultimate potentiality, the NEOCORTEX. Within the Neocortex is the Pre Frontal Cortex which we use to set new goals and actions for the things we want.
But we only use the Neocortex about 5% of our day, so for a short time we can focus
intentionally and consciously on a goal (eg fitness kick), but mostly we use the automatic parts of our brain. We use our stored learned memories most of the time, our patterns of behaviour, and repeat what we know.


You must have a compelling vision for the future across all areas of life that is
consistent and desired without constant change.


That vision must align with your values and be held as important to you.


You must also believe that you are worthy and capabable of getting it OR (and most
likely what needs doing), your beliefs need to be found and changed.

The final two most common things that get in the way of what we want are:

STRESS

Any physical, mental, emotional and social stress triggers precipitate automatic patterns. We end up doing what we’ve always done and fall short on what we want.
Stress also activates the Amygdala and the subsequent fear/stress
response stops our supportive messaging in the action centre of the brain.

EDUCATION IS MISSING, MISGUIDED OR IRRELEVANT

Often the education we need to make the necessary habits stick is missing. You may also find that you’ve chosen behaviours based on what worked for someone else whose circumstances are completely different, and therefore the habits will be unsustainable.

SUMMARY


I hope you can now see some of the reasons you’ve fallen short on what you want. I hope you realise that there’s nothing wrong with you. Just some gaps, some unhelpful wiring and confusion.

The great news is that in the next episode in The Next Generation Wellness Podcast, I will share with you how to begin the process of changing these things that may be causing your life experience to feel far from what you would like it to feel.

Subscribe and Review Podcast