The Stress + Addiction Loop Of Achievement

Are you like me? In a stress and addiction loop of ‘achievement’? It’s when you’re ambitious and achieving, but you’re craving for the stress of that to end. Yet when that space arrives, you don’t know how to fully embrace it.  You become irritable with feelings of discomfort.  You’ve forgotten how to […]

Confusing Contribution

Hi {first_name} There’s a huge difference between contribution and appeasing other people’s needs before you’re own. The discussion came up at our Family Dinner Night (FDN).  FDN is a scheduled, weekly family date night where we discuss a topic of interest (strategically pre-planned by moi), rate our personal life fulfilment areas, set personal behaviours, goals, challenges […]


Drifting. For the less-ambitious this is a gentle ‘feel good’ word. For the rest of us, it’s a tad nauseating. ‘Am I making the most of my life?’ it shouts. Six times a day my phone kindly alerts me to the word ‘intentional’.  A gentle auto-pilot pattern interrupt, allowing me to check in […]

Do you generalise Perfectionism?

We generalise most things in society.  Helps keep our beliefs intact. Perfectionism is one of those things. Like anything, when we gain clarity on what the word means and how it actually plays out in us, we can use its presence for good. Perfectionism can be triggered by; Perceived excessive expectations […]

Behavioural Epigenetics – A clue to staying stuck

 I worked with a lady in her late 70’s. “I thought life would have felt different by now” she said.  The same two areas of life still haunted her. Her relationship to Self (body image and self-esteem) and her Relationship (intimate).Yes, at 78yrs of age.  Pause.Imagine living your entire lifetime feeling stuck and haunted […]

Rewards Don’t Work.

There’s a better way to hit your goals. Not as ‘nice’ perhaps, yet more effective. To help you understand why rewards don’t work, let me ask you a question. “Have you lived your life to date, without some things that you want?”  The answer is usually a resounding, ‘Yes’. Makes sense then, if we’ve […]

The Tale You Tell.

And re-tell. What is it? It’s important to uncover the tale we’ve penned surrounding certain unwanted circumstances in our lives. Do we speak blame? Denial? Excuses?  When we unveil the tale, we stand a chance to get out of the mess. But if we sit in comfort and stay telling the tale, we […]

Successful Behaviour Change.

The subconscious brain controls us between 90-95% of our day. Yet we kid ourselves into thinking if we just consciously set our mind to a new goal, we’re likely to achieve it.  95% subconscious driver V’s 5% conscious goal Do you see the disconnect? Do you see why the thing you […]

There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.

– Leonard Cohen How often have you started something, and then perceived yourself to have ‘fallen off the wagon’? So, you stop. That moment, is a lesson in self-compassion.  If you believe that you are the only human being on the planet to ever have fallen short of your perfectionist expectations, […]

The Small Wins

‘Doing’. It’s a societal epidemic.  The days are full, yet when we get to the end of each, we question what was truly achieved.  We ruminate over all the things we didn’t get done, unaware of or overlooking all the things we did. The problem lies within the lack of […]

Needs and Wants

NEEDS AND WANTS. A typical day can be filled with 2 things;  Things you need to do (your responsibilities) and things you want to do (that is, your goals).  The two big challenges today. 1. The things you want to do (goals) have been replaced by pleasures. Pleasure is a bandaid […]