On Courage and Confidence: I grew up wondering what was wrong with me. Why I couldn’t be the fun one, dancing on the table tops and cherishing in attention.
I wondered why I choked on my saliva if someone simply turned their gaze to me and asked a question. I wondered where this elusive confidence came from that others exhibited.
Perhaps you WERE the table top dancer, but you struggled to be on time and be organised enough to get things done, that needed to get done. So when it came to demands being placed on you, confidence evaporated.
I now know, that our personalities, human needs, experiences and beliefs are each imperfect and necessarily unique. I also know, that despite what extroversion looks like from the outside, extroverts lack self-confidence just as often as an introvert.
I’ve spent many years unpacking this confidence thing, fearfully and painfully.
The 5 Pillars of Courage and Confidence
COMPETENCE- the skills, abilities and talents to perform the task well
CONGRUENCE – aligning our thinking and behaviours to our values and self concept
CONNECTION – a belief that there is something to learn from another, rather than ego projecting your worth on to another
(Brendon Burchard talks of these three above, and I would go a few steps further)
CULTURE OF COURAGE – it’s an environment that is created by yourself and those you surround yourself with, that makes courage easier to step into. It’s made up of the skills and understanding around Curiosity, Communication, Cycles of Energy and taming brain Conflicts.
CELEBRATION – Minimising comparison that steals your acknowledgement of your growth and courage, and micro-moments of pattern interrupting to celebrate your courage.
I grew up focussing on the ‘competence’ pillar. If I only learnt and mastered that next thing, then the confidence surely would arrive. It didn’t.
It’s a gift when you truly grasp how to expand and integrate each of these pillars. They fuel a life of growing confidence and courage.
because fear stops us living the life experience we desire, and self-confidence and courage drown out fear.
Have you missing PILLARS keeping you in self-doubt and playing small?