How do I stay on track? I’m undisciplined? How do I keep motivation? It never seems to
work? I have no willpower?
People come to me to help them change things.
Their situation, emotions, behaviours, thinking….
To shift their life experience to the next level; a more fulfilling and joyous level.
And regardless of their specifics and their story, the process to get what you want remains the same, and in this episode I am sharing that process with you.
LINKS AND RESOURCES
- Are you ready to get out of overwhelm, self-doubt and procrastination? Access the free UNSTUCK training. Click here.
- Stress keeping you falling short? Download TAMING STRESS. Click here.
- Not sure why you fall short on what you want? Tune into the very first episode here.
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HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT: THE 4 STEPS
Here’s what I know.
Humans have unlimited potential
Humans have unlimited potential, however as we discussed in the preceding episode, we only tap into that potential about 5% of the time. The rest of the time living, we’re recycling the thinking and patterns of behaviour that we have done forever, and we end up at the start again.
Human behaviour is always purposeful
Sometimes however, a hidden intention or purpose is unknown to us and this sits within the 95% of the automatic patterns we repeat, without even being aware of it.
As you learnt in the previous episode, there’s generally conflict between what we want intentionally, and what somewhere deep inside we believe to be possible for us.
When there’s conflict, your behaviour is STILL purposeful. You may not want that behaviour, but it’s still purposeful in keeping you safe and in status quo. Keeping you in line with what you believe possible and true about you.
Humans work perfectly well
No one is inoperative if our brains are in tact.
Most of us just don’t understand how humans function and how to optimise that. Usually there is either brain conflict, stress (physically, mentally, emotionally or socially) gets in the way or we have the wrong information. Nonetheless, we work perfectly well.
You have what you need to get what you want
You have what you need to get what you want, sometimes the STATE that we’re in is limiting to that human potential. A STATE is your way of being in any given moment. It’s the culmination of your thoughts, emotions, feelings, mental energy, physical vibrancy. and states arrive before you are
THERE IS A PROCESS TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
The process is the NGW 4Cs Method and it’s grounded in what I know across:
- positive psychology
- human biology
- emotional literacy
- exercise physiology
THERE ARE 4 STEPS.
CLARITY. CONVICTION. CONSISTENCY. CHARGE.
I’m going to unpack those a little, and then I Invite you into the next episode, our first HABIT
STACKER EPISODE TOGETHER, to put it into action.
STEP 1: CLARITY
What do you even want?
Who are you?
Who will you be?
It’s the part that takes the longest. It’s messy, frustrating, confusing and most people skip it.
But we can’t sustain changed behaviours without CLARITY.
It’s where the Pre-Frontal Cortex comes to life- the part gifting you unlimited potential.
This step takes clarity around:
- Transparency of values- what is important to you
- Ambitions – what would you have, be and experience across ALL life areas
- Intentions – your motivation for doing what you do and a sneaky driver that we discuss in this episode here.
- Priorities/ Responsibilities/ Obligations- Your current situation
- Emotional needs and personality – in case you didn’t know, we’re not all wired the same, but just like anything, when we know more about our strengths, we can harness their powers toward getting what we want, and when we shine a light on our weakenesses (which no one is immune to having), we can improve them so that we can get what we want.
- Supportive behaviours
- Intrinsic motivators,
- Education gaps
- Stress triggers
Right now you may be thinking, hold up woman, I am busy and I do not have time for this learning about myself.
That’s ok. That’s the majority of the population, living in status quo.
It’s also why I mentioned, this work is messy, frustrating, and tedious. And it’s a NON-NEGOTIABLE for successfully changing the habits you don’t want, in order to get what you do want.
When you’re clear, you take intentional and successful action. Whenyou’re not, you wait OR you stop.
This is the part where you change what you believe to be true about who you are and what you are capable of. Those sneaky beliefs that you created and keep you living as an 8yr old child in an adult body.
This step is all about the Limbic Brain. We begin to work with the Amygdala, that alarm centre that is processing threat.
The alarm centre that says, ‘I want to lose weight’, but in the moment we say it to ourselves, there’s a negative emotional charge attached. Eventually, because the amygdala processes fear first, it will pay attention and mess up that brain messaging to the action centre to keep doing what you need todo, to get what you want.
So you need to shift your entire paradigm.
The habits, beliefs and opinions that you’ve hoarded for a lifetime.
The paradigm that keeps you falling short of what you want. Keeps you getting the same of the
It guides you, whether you’re aware of it, or not.
We shine a light on those beliefs that aren’t helpful, and input new and accurate data with expanded education.
At this point, we need to harness the power of things I call transitions and pattern interrupts.
Let me explain those.
Transitions are periods in the day that we all have, where we transition from one role or action, to another. Mostly we’re so used to doing it, we don’t give it a thought.
Key transitions in your day may be things like going from a sleeping state to a waking state. There is a gap there. A transition.
Another may be ‘getting ready’.
Another be ‘travelling to drop the kids to school’.
Another, ‘travelling to work’.
And we have these transitions all the way through our days.
When we’re aware of them, we pattern interrupt our autopilot thinking and behaving. These Pattern Interrupts can be things like phone alarms, or a post-it note that has been strategically placed in the transition period.
So rather than rolling out of bed and believing the first thing you do is go to the toilet, you realise there is a space in there, to input a new and intentional thought or action that is aligned with what you want.
I might put a phone calander alert (pattern interrupt) on repeat daily at the time my
alarm goes off (that’s a transition time), and that alert might say:
‘BREATHE, WHAT ONE THING CAN I DO TODAY THAT WILL MAKE ME PROUD?
The idea is to find your pockets of space through the day (transitions), where you place an
interrupt of some time, which tells you what to do, think, or feel.
Little by little, we drown out the unhelpful thinking that sends us into old unhelpful patterend
This is the stage where you most likely see everything unravel. Where you notice
the falling short.
We call it a lack of will power, self sabotage or the like, but it’s really just the
absence of step 1 + 2.
We bring the Cerebellum into play; this place of stored and automatic behaviours.
We do this by continuing with step 2 and taming the stress response which sends us back into auto-pilot habits.
We look all the triggers relevant to us, and I know there are over 50 triggers that
come from emotional, mental, physical and social areas of life.
So gently, we shine a light on them, and then move toward reducing their frequency and/or
duration of exposure.
Then we have the energetic capacity and the cognitive space to build consistency in the
thinking, feeling and behaving that will get us what we want.
And at this point we have clarity.
We’ve built conviction in what we want and our ability to
We have showcased Consistency.
And then we arrive at this most remarkable place called……
Where you realise that nothing is off limits.
It might be a challenge, a real stretch, but not off limits.
At this step you have activated personal integrity and a habit of self-discipline.
You have developed a bias for committed, focussed, intentional and purposeful action, whilst keeping energy high.
You discover new pleasure in high performance habits, and stay on course with your intrinsic
At this point, the experience of life is vastly different to what it is if try to skip steps 1-3 in this 4Cs process.
The 4Cs Methodology is both simple and complex. Just as we are as humans.
In Episode 3 of the Next Generation Wellness Podcast, we put the 4Cs Methodology into action!